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Give me blood, I will give you comments!

For quite some time, I have been commenting on other people’s blogs without having a blog of my own. I used to get a vicarious kick from my anonymous commentary. It was like… watching stray dogs mate from behind bushes as kids. Anyway, there was quite a guessing game over the identity of this pesky commentator and I relished every bit of it. My comments were commented upon and I commented on other people’s comments. I commented on a despairing blogger’s anguished cry over the lack of comments on his blog. Commented on a blogger’s humble acceptance of the fact that he had received 0.765 comments per post. Added my two-paise bit to a debate on Satyajit Ray kicked off by a venerable but imperious film-buff/critic. Commented on a would-be novelist’s bathos-filled comparison of upright fir trees in Cooch Behar with Nutan (Yes, Nutan). I also goaded fellow non-bloggers to comment copiously. I was on the verge of starting a mass-movement. Give me blood and I will give you comments! Very soon there would be millions of people treading my footsteps. Had become almost famous. A comment crusader…

But as a Pashto proverb would have it: Destiny is a saddled ass, he goes wherever you lead him. Far from the hero I’d almost become, I am now waiting for your comments.

Comments

kaushik said…
Ha ha ha.. I knew you would bite the bait. I did but sooner than you. And I waiting when you will buy your mobile phone.
10:27 PM
The Marauder's Map said…
My friend, you are yet to learn proper blogging etiquette. Don't you know you are supposed to cross-link to every instance of commenting you talk about? This is how we spread the word and do a bit of self-affirming cross promotion. But maybe you were just too lazy.
12:04 AM
Tridib said…
Indeed grateful for almost single-handedly populating my posts with your comments, but wasn't quite overjoyed with the dogs mating allusion!
8:03 AM
ozymandiaz said…
Spend alot of time watching the dogs, did ya? Sounds to me a bit too much time. Oh, and your movement has been subverted. Most anymous commenters anymore are just spamming the post. kinda like the one directly above me.

(speaking of watching dogs, you know the joke about the son asking his father how he was named...off colour native american joke)
8:29 AM
Anonymous said…
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8:59 AM
Anonymous said…
hi mr.fool...How r u?? I am in the pink of my health...Which blood grp do u want?? How is ur uncle Subhas Chandra Bose doin in Somalia?? Ur destiny's child is a pain in the ass of the ass.... Btw howz u r wife doin???? Wat happened 2 the leak in the kitchen?? Hav u called the blacksmith?? Or shud i do tat 4 u... Convey my regards 2 u r dog n donkey....
1:33 PM
Anonymous said…
Just a brilliant write up!!! Keep doing both - writing ur own pieces as well as giving comments!! As for me, I'll just keep on doing the latter and take ur mission of a mass movement ahead!! Har Har Mahadev...Commenting ki jai!!
10:26 AM
thorswheels said…
Kaushik: I will never buy that thing. Never.
Marauder: I'm really sorry. Eto boro bhul? *banging my head on the comp and screaming, 'Why? why?'*
Tridib: Will keep on commenting on ur blog. BTW, you looked the other way when dogs mated?
Ozymandiaz: Dying to hear the joke.
Passerby: Bam bhole! And thanks. Keep visiting my blog even when you are sitting on a pile of cash in a house in Malabar Hills.
11:01 AM
J. Alfred Prufrock said…
Phool, there are no mountains in Cooch Behar.

Would-be novelist? If only!

I concur with your views on comments, as further expanded by Ms. Bagchi. Now to start you on a blog-roll ...

J.A.P.
11:03 AM
Persona non gratis said…
Did you mean "give me blog" and I'll give you comments? Didn't know comments are going at the rate of blood, or may be blood is cheap these days. I just strayed in your site btw. Nice.
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